The Moon
I feel my only exit door from all that is real and painful is the sight of a clear night sky with a full moon. The rush of seeing a fraction of a vast and infinite space is what I long for each day. Each star, each planet, has its own beauty. It’s the unknown that fascinates me. How far does the universe go? There have GOT to be life forms out there other than us. Maybe we’ll never have the chance of an encounter, maybe not in my lifetime, but maybe so.
In all reality, I’m not going in to space. It’s illogical, I have an immense fear of large, open spaces. That is the epitome of my fear. Just believing that our species is not the only species out there is somewhat comforting. The view of the moon from my window is exquisite. I’m taken aback at the very beauty of the nature in our world. I hate to sound like a hippie, but maybe I am one. It’s sad to see people take our planet for granted.
This blog entry is not to be understood. I’m rambling on because I feel I may burst. My thoughts are just totally overflowing this evening. Thanksgiving. hm. All people want out of thanksgiving is to eat food, not to be with family. Holidays have sadly been taken over by the media. Kids are becoming selfish and conceited on Christmas when they don’t get their new iPad, or iPod, or iPhone, or tanning package, or the latest clothes from Abercrombie&Fitch. Holidays should be sacred, family time. Let’s try to bring it back, people!
My mind is a nightmare that only the moon can sing me out of.
1:58 am • 25 November 2011
Oh, Starbucks…
Peppermint White Chocolate Mocha + cig=heaven.
7:45 pm • 30 December 2010
Marilyn Monroe. The woman who will never die.
It’s funny, my sister and I didn’t really know how she died, so we looked it up and there are so many different ways and reasons that it happened.
- Accidental OD (Self-administered)
- Accidental OD (Administered by another)
- Murder
- Suicide
I read someone’s opinion on it and it really made sense to me. He said something along the lines of, “It was suicide, she wanted people 100 years from now to remember her as beautiful. Fear of looking old.”
I think that I agree with this guy. It only makes sense, and it was what she wanted.
7:17 pm • 18 December 2010 • 1 note
Just plain thinking too much.
Where to begin? My mind is just swimming with thoughts this evening. It’s almost too much to try and process. This always happens though, it’s inevitable. Maybe there’s a name for this sickness. Paranoia. hah.
To start; My significant other and I.
Let’s start from the beginning of this thought process. Although we are, “two peas in a pod”, there’s also the ever-headache inducing arguments. All relationships come with some variation of it. In my case, the arguments consist of mainly 3 things that each of us go on about, for me it’s too much video game playing (on his part), him acting like we’re just super good friends, or the wonderful “I wish things were how they used to be”. He normally argues about me being lazy/procrastinating, me not having responsibilities, or me doing/saying something stupid. I don’t know, I don’t even care about us arguing. I don’t think it’s a bad thing. It’s normal, healthy. I love him, screw everyone else.
Next; Employment opportunities. (Or lack thereof.)
It’s frustrating, to say the least. I’m trying my hardest, applying where I can, when I can. I just went online and applied to 5 different places. Granted they were places like MacDo and Subway, but that’s beside the point. They’re JOBS. I’d get PAID. Honestly right now if I just had a job, I think I’d be way happier. I think most of my stress, frustration, and unhappy tendencies are because of the fact that no one will hire me. Let alone even give me an interview.
Then; The self-consciousness.
Every girl has some kind of self-conscious thought every single day. Me? I’m getting better with it as the days go along. I’m learning to wear less makeup. Then again, working out has not been my topmost priority. And for that, I feel even more self-conscious because it makes me feel like I can’t do anything that I set out to do in the first place, but really it’s not that I can’t, I just won’t. I know that I am lazy and I procrastinate (a lot), and I am really trying to change that. Maybe my self-consciousness will go down somewhat before the New Year. (Hopefully my weight will too.)
Last; Family.
I love my family. I’m sad that my immediate family are all moving away from me in the next 6 months. My dad is moving not completely far from where he used to live, but just the fact that he has to move at all hurts my heart. My mother also has to move, and she’s takin’ the little one with her. It sucks in her scenario because she’s moving a whole state away. All of the drama hurts my brain.
And on that note, I bid you adieu.
4:40 am • 5 December 2010
When I read this, for some reason I got a terrible feeling in my heart.
1:45 am • 5 December 2010
I love this photo, I took this of my sister a day or two ago.
1:27 am • 5 December 2010
We’ve only just begun…
Well, here goes. This isn’t my first attempt at a blog, sadly, but hopefully it’ll be one that I’ll be able to stick with. I tend to get easily bored with things like this, thinking that writing in a blog will benefit me in some way, then just abandon it like an overplayed video game.
I vow right now to not let this be a waste of my time. I think I’ll be able to get something out of blabbing my brains out. Maybe I need it?
Christmas is coming up. OH JOY. I don’t have a job. BIGGER JOY. It’ll be a thin Christmas this year, everyone. Thanks to the lack of employment. It’s like they have my name on a list of people NOT to hire at every employable business.
PHUCKEM. McDonald’s…Here I come.
12:40 am • 5 December 2010
